Esme Rose Shelton's Official Blog!

Hey, I went to the pub in a wig. Guess what? Nobody knows what to call me now? Is it "John"? Is it "Esme"? Have I lost it? The answer I feel is that I haven't lost it, but opened the flood gates on who or what is being created at this moment in time. I'm still me. I'm still a good person. Not everyone gets to truly re-invent themselves or even get another chance at some things in life. I feel a little bit empowered, emotional and even a little stressed sometimes.  I guess it's mixed feelings. However, I feel quite positive for all that's been said and done. It's not a bad thing. It's just another opportunity to grow and develop confidence and a better outlook on life. I'm not saying that I had a bad outlook, but in this world you have to keep going. There will be bad and good times. Just hold onto looking forward and stay true to yourself and others. However, stay positive.

It was a Bank Holiday Monday. I was feeling brave. It took me weeks to build up to telling my local pub that I was Transgender and open about my Gender Identity, etc. I felt that I should be honest and opened up the barman who is a friend. He was cool, shook his hand then I felt a little overwhelmed so I went for a walk. Later that day, I returned to the pub location and decided to sit in a smaller area of the facility. I decided to start wearing my wig from in my bag. I went to the bar and asked for tap water. However, I was feeling brave and was sneered at by a duo of girls who laughed at my expense. "A Man in A Wig", "Not Another One!" - this all felt hurtful and a little Transphobic to me. I was very hurt and felt bad for the barman who probably felt bad for me. This wasn't a positive experience, but I felt free and honest about the day, if not a little hurt. Again, the barman was great and I'm sorry if I made him feel bad for me. My advice is be careful...

Hello, Esme here... I don't want to be a "Man" in a Wig! I want and will be going going onto HRT. Now, it's definitely the fear of the unknown. How to present? What to wear? And what to do with my days?  I've had an underwhelming sort of day and I can't always put my finger on it? These days do not last and I find that the sun goes down in denial. I'm doing fine, trying my best and a this all could be Gender Dysphoria.  I will be speaking to my Mental Health Team this month in April. I will be open and honest about my Gender Identity and as I've explained a few things in this blog is that I need further support as I've been going at this all alone at my home and visiting town to break up the days. You don't have to feel alone, but sometimes and we will get bad days.  Love and Light! Take Care and stay Positive and true to Yourself and others around you in uncertainty and through the negativity of the mind trying to play tricks!

Another day, another dollar… sort of! I heard that the NHS and Mental Health Support are short staffed here in the UK. Trying to gain a CPN Support Worker is a very scarce thing for my local Mental Health Service. Also, I have depot injection monthly to boost my mood from the MH Centre. For a Mental Health Awareness Event, I remember that I took a walk around the Nottingham Forest Football Ground five times in a group with an awareness group going off. It took place early 2024. Also, over the past few years I had attended a few local pub events, Mind Over Metal (a music festival) for it to raise money for Andy's Man Club and the Mental Health Charity called Mind . Donations went towards the respected charities. I try to support Mental Health charity where and when I can. Sometimes, doing something is better than nothing 🚫  When the lowest of moods catch up, it's best to try and stay defiant in the face of depression, even if it means to take time out or take a break. Let the ...