Esme Rose Shelton's Official Blog!

It was a Bank Holiday Monday. I was feeling brave. It took me weeks to build up to telling my local pub that I was Transgender and open about my Gender Identity, etc. I felt that I should be honest and opened up the barman who is a friend. He was cool, shook his hand then I felt a little overwhelmed so I went for a walk. Later that day, I returned to the pub location and decided to sit in a smaller area of the facility. I decided to start wearing my wig from in my bag. I went to the bar and asked for tap water. However, I was feeling brave and was sneered at by a duo of girls who laughed at my expense. "A Man in A Wig", "Not Another One!" - this all felt hurtful and a little Transphobic to me. I was very hurt and felt bad for the barman who probably felt bad for me. This wasn't a positive experience, but I felt free and honest about the day, if not a little hurt. Again, the barman was great and I'm sorry if I made him feel bad for me. My advice is be careful...

For a start, Thank You so much for reading. I appreciate the time and love and patience. I came out so to speak to a family member and friends over the years and now to a professional mental health support team and psychiatrist.  I was often thinking to myself as in what if a loved one or person found my female clothes and wig? It's kind of a natural step to "Come Out" and I've always relied on talking as well as writing.  Even though I can't find the right words or language on how I'm feeling, I feel that the pen is mightier than the sword and writing has always been some sort of outlet. Now I know all of this is scary and maybe even a little bit confusing, but I know I'm not getting any younger. I have crossdressed for many years and purged clothes, but always come back months or years down the line.  I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and was thinking to myself that I'd have to explain it a partner or loves one at some point, ...