Esme Rose Shelton's Official Blog!

Hello, Esme here... I don't want to be a "Man" in a Wig! I want and will be going going onto HRT. Now, it's definitely the fear of the unknown. How to present? What to wear? And what to do with my days?  I've had an underwhelming sort of day and I can't always put my finger on it? These days do not last and I find that the sun goes down in denial. I'm doing fine, trying my best and a this all could be Gender Dysphoria.  I will be speaking to my Mental Health Team this month in April. I will be open and honest about my Gender Identity and as I've explained a few things in this blog is that I need further support as I've been going at this all alone at my home and visiting town to break up the days. You don't have to feel alone, but sometimes and we will get bad days.  Love and Light! Take Care and stay Positive and true to Yourself and others around you in uncertainty and through the negativity of the mind trying to play tricks!

For a start, Thank You so much for reading. I appreciate the time and love and patience. I came out so to speak to a family member and friends over the years and now to a professional mental health support team and psychiatrist.  I was often thinking to myself as in what if a loved one or person found my female clothes and wig? It's kind of a natural step to "Come Out" and I've always relied on talking as well as writing.  Even though I can't find the right words or language on how I'm feeling, I feel that the pen is mightier than the sword and writing has always been some sort of outlet. Now I know all of this is scary and maybe even a little bit confusing, but I know I'm not getting any younger. I have crossdressed for many years and purged clothes, but always come back months or years down the line.  I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and was thinking to myself that I'd have to explain it a partner or loves one at some point, ...

Heartbreak and Broken People. Addiction and the most deepest of Wells. People will always find a way...  To find the Perfect Hit or Miss! Struggling Souls and Peer Pressure. Sunken Souls walking in the Harshest of Weather. Wholesome Thoughts and Prayers...  To Those That Try to Dare! To Dare to see a new Day! To wage forward and not Sway. To not Sway in the Wind...  To help each other and not fall Behind. The Struggle Is Real! Behind Closed Doors! We try to find ourselves and dig a little deeper even more!

The lovely Emrys Romane hosted a belated birthday party for their partner and I was invited to the do. This is the first time I stepped out as Esme Rose at any kind of event. I really appreciated the evening of fun and frolics by Emrys and friends.  Shout Out to: Pee (Pictured Below) for the photographs of the night. I really appreciate everyone that saw me this night and of course to Queen Bee, Emrys Romane and Gordi and the pet cats. Stay Safe everyone and take care... Esme Rose 🌹 

Hi, nice to meet you... My name is John/Esme. I feel in two spirits as a person who suffers from mental health and also talking medication to control my Schizoaffective Disorder. It takes work and patience as does any other job or personal development of any sort. Now, I know I like to Crossdress at night in private behind closed doors. Not many people know apparently apart from those that read this or know. Recently, I decided to try and get back into music but have had a few rejections in joining musical band or projects. Through this, I met a friend called Amelia. I opened up to her about how I was feeling. Other contacts advised for me to open up to family. I opened up to family again as I did in 2017 about Gender Identity Issues and confronting them and try to draw a timeline in where I want to be in the near future. This is all scary and familiar at the same time. For example, the worry and anxiety I feel about being in the open as I was a shy person growing up who was dealing wi...

FORWARD I hate Ignorance for no reason. Come on, it’s a bit silly now that you would do this after you came to me? Ah, Social Media... The Devil's Work! Maybe it was my tiny breakdown? Was it something I said? Sod it, it doesn’t matter, now. What’s done is done, but it still stings when you’ve done nothing wrong. Anyway, life is very short. This year we lost Ozzy (Osbourne) and in recent years a lot of people we came to love and respect. It feels like a huge competition sometimes in the film scene. People fighting for that number one spot of fame and fortune and a special friendship circle. This is nothing new to me if I'm honest. I love being creative and always have been since primary school. In school, I used to write stories about far out people and scenarios where class friends and teachers wanted more of the adventure or intriguing story with pictures drawn by myself. There was surely a spark of madness or genius way back then in class. As we get older, we sometimes lose ...