I Won "Best Documentary" Award at The Kaiju Film Festival 2022!

In 2022, I managed to win a small statue award for a Godzilla-Related Documentary I created in 2017 with friends. It was called "For The Love of Godzilla". Ever since then and in 2023, I extended the Documentry Film and it can be seen on my YouTube Channel. The film is dedicated to Haruo Nakajima who passed away in 2017. He was the original Godzilla Suit Actor at Toho Studios.

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Stepping Out As Esme Rose 🌹

The lovely Emrys Romane hosted a belated birthday party for their partner and I was invited to the do. This is the first time I stepped out as Esme Rose at any kind of event. I really appreciated the evening of fun and frolics by Emrys and friends. Shout Out to: Pee (Pictured Below) for the photographs of the night. I really appreciate everyone that saw me this night and of course to Queen Bee, Emrys Romane and Gordi and the pet cats. Stay Safe everyone and take care... Esme Rose 🌹

Full Time Worrier... Part Time Crossdresser!

Hi, nice to meet you... My name is John/Esme. I feel in two spirits as a person who suffers from mental health and also talking medication to control my Schizoaffective Disorder. It takes work and patience as does any other job or personal development of any sort. Now, I know I like to Crossdress at night in private behind closed doors. Not many people know apparently apart from those that read this or know. Recently, I decided to try and get back into music but have had a few rejections in joining musical band or projects. Through this, I met a friend called Amelia. I opened up to her about how I was feeling. Other contacts advised for me to open up to family. I opened up to family again as I did in 2017 about Gender Identity Issues and confronting them and try to draw a timeline in where I want to be in the near future. This is all scary and familiar at the same time. For example, the worry and anxiety I feel about being in the open as I was a shy person growing up who was dealing wi...

Why I Came Out at 46 & What This All Means?

For a start, Thank You so much for reading. I appreciate the time and love and patience. I came out so to speak to a family member and friends over the years and now to a professional mental health support team and psychiatrist. I was often thinking to myself as in what if a loved one or person found my female clothes and wig? It's kind of a natural step to "Come Out" and I've always relied on talking as well as writing. Even though I can't find the right words or language on how I'm feeling, I feel that the pen is mightier than the sword and writing has always been some sort of outlet. Now I know all of this is scary and maybe even a little bit confusing, but I know I'm not getting any younger. I have crossdressed for many years and purged clothes, but always come back months or years down the line. I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and was thinking to myself that I'd have to explain it a partner or loves one at some point, ...

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